Nah, that couldn’t be why they’re giving them away…

…could it?

I am, of course, referring to the ghastly “Can I get…?”; usually when ordering a triple-skinny-mocha-caramel-latté.

Aaaarrgh! If I was the attendant/server, my tongue would be black and blue. Yes, you can “get”, but only if you ask properly. “May I have…?” is more than suitable, and contains the same number of syllables.

It’s not big, it’s not clever - and could possibly get you killed.

Especially if I hear you say it again.

No, I’m not trying to be funny. The tragic loss of life due to spiralling knife crime is something that should concern everyone (especially those in the position to actually *do* something about it).

But the irony is not lost on my twisted sense of humour…

I initially thought about combining lookups with IF statements but it got *really* messy. A little digging revealed a pretty handy solution, which I thought I’d share with you all…

The answer lay in combining the MATCH and INDEX functions* - the former (used twice) to locate both the Role and Rating in the appropriate arrays, then the latter to locate the corresponding intersection:

MATCH(A18,$A$2:$A$8,0) searches the range A2:A8 for the role held in A18
MATCH(B18,$B$1:$F$1,0) searches the range B1:F1 for the rating held in B18
INDEX($A$1:$F$8,(MATCH(A18,$A$2:$A$8,0)+1),(MATCH(B18,$B$1:$F$1,0)+1)) locates the intersection. Note the “+1″ that deals with the header rows/columns in the INDEX array (A1:F8).

This works, but will return a #N/A! error if the referring cells are empty. Some people don’t mind this, but I prefer to clean things up a bit by using an additional IF statement and the ISNA function; effectively stating “If the index/match formula returns a #N/A! error, display a blank. Else, display the formula results”.

Now, this formula is a little unwieldy, so you can download the sample Excel file here.

Hope you find it useful!

*http://support.microsoft.com/kb/214142

Thanks to Nick for the heads-up on the great Subtle theme. I’m still trying to work out how to embed my flickr badge in the sidebar but none of the widgets seem to work for me at the moment…

…if anyone spots one that might, please let me know!

Calculators are allowed, and show your working.

As mentioned a while ago, I’m collating the parts to assemble a copy of a Fender Stratocaster; specifically a copy of David Gilmour’s (Pink Floyd) 1954 Strat with the serial number 0001. Huge tracts of information exist on this guitar, so I won’t go into details on the original - suffice to say that it wasn’t actually the first Strat off of the production line, and I happen to think that it looks rather fine…

Anyway, on to the meat of this post.

Although I’ve still yet to obtain all of the parts, I decided that the headstock was looking a little bare… So how did I do it?

After a bit of messing around with Inkscape and GIMP, I came up with the logo I wanted - it looks like the Real Thing(TM) from a distance, but there’s no danger of confusing it close up

I then printed (in reverse) onto some dry-rub transfer paper from Crafty Computer Paper. I had toyed with the idea of using the water-slide decal paper, but couldn’t be certain that I could apply the decal in reverse.

A quick colour in with a metallic gold marker from WHSmith and things were good to go. I left the transfer to dry overnight, then applied the sticky backing (per the instructions). I actually printed two logos; just in case one went wrong. This was a Good Thing(TM) as I inadvertently peeled off the wrong sheet when checking; thereby screwing it up totally.

Again, I left the backing sheet to work its magic overnight, before cutting the two transfers out. Application was done very carefully to avoid any bubbles in the transfer, and the completed logo was gently burnished with some soft tissue paper.

Success! And I’m really pleased with the outcome.

Next step - stripping/refinishing the body… Watch this space!