Shaved turkey

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I know we’re a nation of foodies, but some of the terminology really grates, if you’ll pardon the pun. I mean, today’s sandwich menu at work includes “Shaved turkey caesar with rocket”…

…what’s wrong with “turkey salad”? I don’t know about you but the original description is making for some rather unusual mental imagery.

A few other gastronomical annoyances/translations:

  • Jus – it’s gravy
  • Wrap = sandwich filling surrounded by chamois leather
  • Crepe = deep- or pan-fried chamois leather
  • Pan-fried – what else would you use?
  • “On the vine” – i.e. with the green bits still attached. Why pay extra for someone else’s lackadaisical harvesting?

Zero sugar…

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…and zero taste. At least, that’s my impression of Coke Zero (aka “bloke Coke”).

As Monty Python’s Australian philosophers (the Bruces) might say, it’s like making love in a canoe…

I’ll let you fill in the punchline yourselves.

I’ve tasted the future…

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…and it’s maple flavour.